This is an urgent DEC appeal on behalf of the East Sussex town of Crowborough.
Heavy winds on the night of March 30th 2015 have left the town devastated, and caused a humanitarian crisis worse than any in living memory.
Homes have been destroyed, businesses ruined and in some cases tens of pounds worth of patio furniture upturned. Eye-witness reports of the carnage are still coming through, but our aid workers have sent back this harrowing scene.
There remains an ongoing risk of disease, and with Ocado vans unable to navigate the tree-strewn driveways the spectre of famine still hangs in the air.
Please, give what you can to help these people who in many cases have lost everything of value.
Just £5 will buy them a Starbucks grande mochaccino and a slice of fruit toast.
Just £10 will provide them with a warm sweater from Primark, which they'll never wear because they simply won't support the exploitation of child workers in Bangladesh darling.
Just £5,000 will enable them to cook a warm meal for themselves, by replacing the Aga.
With your help, we can have these poor people back on the golf course or sipping a nice Malbec in no time.
Thank you for listening.