Thursday, February 14, 2013

The Right To Publicity

Frankly, I'm a bit miffed.

I made a real effort yesterday to look nice, just for my own personal benefit, and not one picture of it has ended up on any media outlet anywhere.

I know how the Duchess of Cambridge must feel now. My right to a bit of personal publicity has been repeatedly breached by newspapers and television stations, both domestic and foreign.

I'm thinking of taking out a superinjuction compelling them to print photos of me in a bikini, or speculate about whether I'm pregnant or not. My Mum and Dad's house has issued a strongly worded statement condemning the lack of interest in my personal life.

A quick note to the seemingly lovely, yet apparently enormously naive about how the world works, former Ms Middleton.

You're famous. Expect people to be interested in what your baby bump, or for that matter your norks, look like. If you get them out in what are very public settings, there's a chance that someone might see them and take a photograph.

Either you learn to shrug your shoulders, deal with it and move on with your life, or you take to wearing a burkha at all times.

Just please, stop the incessant whining. It's creating an image of you as some over-privileged toff who wants all the rights and glamour of being a member of one of the most high profile families on the planet, but with none of the downside.

Time to woman up. If you think it's bad now, just wait til the third in line to the throne drops out of your womb.

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