(to the tune of the old music hall standard “Oh, Mr Porter”)
Oh Mr Miliband, what am I to do?
I wanted Grosmann’s pasta sauce, but they only have Ragu
It’s a middle-class crisis, that we’re all going through
Oh Mr Miliband what would your David do?
Oh Mr Miliband, won’t you tell me please?
When will you show us how to fix the country on its knees?
Instead of banging on about machines in bookies shops
Oh Mr Miliband I could slap you round the chops
Oh Mr Miliband, Campbell says that you won’t win
He says you’ll need a deal with Clegg or you’ll be in the bin
Maybe it’s time for you to try and step it up a bit
Cos if you can’t see off Cameron then you really must be sh…
Oh Mr Miliband, you’re losing core support
You’re happy to throw it all away without a second thought
Focus on the many, instead of the wealthy few
Remember Mr Miliband… we’re not all middle class like you.